SUPER IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

Listen to this special emergency announcement from Helicopter Mom! Call in show is scheduled for this coming Thursday, the 19th, at 7pm eastern.

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Like the artwork we’re using for the show? Our picture was created for us by Lumen et Sal. Follow him on twitter: twitter.com/lumen_sal

Super Easy Marinara Sauce

What you’ll need:

  • 10 Roma Tomatoes
  • 2 Carrots, diced
  • 1 yellow Onion, diced
  • 2 Stalks of Celery, diced
  • 1 Cup of Broth (or less)
  • 1 TBS Butter
  • 1 TBS Olive Oil
  • 5 Cloves of Garlic
  • Seasonings (see directions, and alter based on your tastes)

Directions:

  1. Blanch the tomatoes, core them/remove all seeds, and set them aside.
  2. In a large pot, heat the butter and oil on medium heat. Cook the onion, carrot, and celery for around five minutes. Add the garlic and cook for another minute.
  3. Add tomatoes and broth. Cook until you can mush up the tomatoes.
  4. Season with salt, pepper, oregano, basil, and chili powder. Never skimp on seasonings.
  5. Use an immersion blender to blend it all until there are no chunks of tomatoes left.
  6. Cook for around thirty minutes, or until the sauce has thickened enough.
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7 Reasons Babies Are Better Than Dogs (Duh)

At Helicopter Mom, we believe that Dog Moms and fur babies should be banned from public life. Here’s why.

No. 1: Babies are born human. You don’t have to pretend.

The only reason that people think dogs are cute is because of the things they do that register to us instinctually as being like the things that babies do. A dog’s whines and sighs pale in comparison to a child’s insightful babbles and delighted exclamations. Your dog may learn to shake hands, but your child can learn mathematics and to play the piano.

No. 2: Let’s be real. Dogs are gross.

Dogs roll in dead things… with relish. They stink, shed and track dirt into your house. They befoul your yard with holes, ruined landscaping and piles of waste. They lick themselves in unspeakable places and then try to lick you and your children in the face. Dogs don’t grow up to help you around the house, but they do make your house dirty and ruin your carpets. To those dog advocates who look down on babies because they need their diapers changed and faces wiped a few times a day, we say, checkmate.

No. 3: Dogs are not children and having a dog does not make you a parent.

We rightly feel a sense of uncomfortable bizarreness when we see a woman treating a dog like a child: pushing it in a stroller, nuzzling it rapturously on a bed, or kissing its head with perverse zest. The exploitative pet market continues to implode with comically repulsive items like chest carriers for emotionally compromised women to “baby wear” their dogs. We feel pathos when we see a car with a Who Rescued Who; Proud Dog Grandma; or My Dog Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student bumper sticker.

If you have a child, you understand how grotesque it is to treat a dog like a child and how a child is infinitely more complex than a dog. A parent forms a child in the likeness of God and protects them from evil to their eternal credit; a dog owner makes material provisions to a beast for the comforts common to all mammals.

No. 4: Dogs don’t actually make people happy, despite signaling to the contrary. 

In examining this point, it’s important to exercise some sensitivity to the wrecked state of our society. The spiritual lacks of modern man are unrelenting. Unhappy, damaged, lonely people are everywhere, often turning to “fur babies” for comfort. Having abjured the loving and rational basis of their existence, God, the emptiness they are left with is poignant and causes emotional desperation.

The dog has become a cultural idol for self-medicating this piteous state, providing a warm, nonjudgmental presence to those who have closed themselves off to God’s love, or who have suffered at the hands of their fellow man. However, none but God’s love satisfies. The “fur baby” phenomenon would not need such ardent defense if it was fulfilling, neither would its advocates desperately post selfies portraying their happiness with their animals if they were in fact, happy.

5. Dogs are not rational beings. 
Neopagan people’s spiritual faculties are so degenerated that they fail to discriminate the animal from the human, both in their orientation to pets and in their concupiscent lifestyles. St. Athanasius writes in Against the Heathen:

“For now the understanding of mankind leaped asunder from God; and going lower in their ideas and imaginations, they gave the honour due to God first to the heaven and the sun and moon and the stars, thinking them to be not only gods, but also the causes of the other gods lower than themselves. Then, going yet lower in their dark imaginations, they gave the name of gods to the upper æther and the air and the things in the air. Next, advancing further in evil, they came to celebrate as gods the elements and the principles of which bodies are composed, heat and cold and dryness and wetness. 2. But just as they who have fallen flat creep in the slime like land-snails, so the most impious of mankind, having fallen lower and lower from the idea of God, then set up as gods men, and the forms of men, some still living, others even after their death. Moreover, counselling and imagining worse things still, they transferred the divine and supernatural name of God at last even to stones and stocks, and creeping things both of land and water, and irrational wild beasts, awarding to them every divine honour, and turning from the true and only real God, the Father of Christ.”

Whereas a dog is not a rational being and is therefore not capable of love, a human child is made in the image and likeness of God, who is supreme love and rationality Himself.

No. 6: The dog does not have personality, except that which its master gifts to it.

C.S. Lewis, writing about animal pain in The Problem of Pain, observes that the only self a domestic animal has is derivative of its master:

“Man was appointed by God to have dominion over the beasts, and everything a man does to an animal is either a lawful exercise, or a sacrilegious abuse, of an authority by divine right…

Now it will be seen that, in so far as the tame animal has a real self or personality, it owes this almost entirely to its master. If a good sheepdog seems “almost human” that is because a good shepherd has made it so.”

The modern dog owner does not give lawful exercise over his dog, but bends the dog into freakish proportions outside of its nature. The dog is a creature made to take orders from a master, not to be coddled like a child, which makes it neurotic. At its best, the dog is ennobled not by its own self as the “dogs are better than people” crowd would have it, but by a master who understands the importance of hierarchy and is not dependent on the dog, but on whom the dog depends.

No. 7: Babies continue your family. Dogs don’t.  

While Fido may last 12 years before being buried in your backyard, your child could live to be 100, give you grandchildren, and take care of you in your old age. Doggie daycare (~$40/day), pet insurance (~$25/month), boutique dog food (~$40/month) and expensive grooming visits decadently burn up your bank account. However, every penny you spend on your child, every moment of your time and mote of yourself that you give to them, redounds to both of you tenfold, and to the glory of God.

Dogs can enrich a childhood, defend your home and hearth, help the handicapped, and serve man in important functions like agriculture, disasters and warfare. However, dogs are ultimately pets and servants, and while their companionship can be enjoyable, only children can continue civilization and your family line.

Please say a prayer for those who are lost in the idolatry of the pet culture after you read this!

Cookin’ Up Traditions

“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

We’ve all heard this phrase countless times. “Cook delicious food,” the older woman advises, “and you’ll catch yourself a husband.” She’s right! A home-cooked meal can warm a man’s heart, and refresh his spirit. While my marriage does not subsist on baked goods alone (sadly), a well-timed pastry can serve as a sign of gratitude for my husband’s provision or even an apology. Food goes a long way in making a happy home.

In The Supper of the Lamb, Robert Farrar Capon wrote: “We were given appetites, not to consume the world and forget it, but to taste its goodness and hunger to make it great.” Food has a mystical, almost spiritual ability to affect us. Eating isn’t just a physical necessity; it is a gift of God to reach souls.

As a young girl, fascination about my Norwegian heritage was centered around the delicious food. Crispy kavring, savory lefse, and buttery kringla appeared at family gatherings. Kransekake, a delicate layered cake, was reserved for only the most special occasions. Nearly every Norwegian dinner included potatoes, butter, and salt. My appetite for Norway started in my stomach and quickly progressed to my heart. Now, I am learning how to prepare these foods for my own family.

Every meal we ladies cook is an opportunity to harness the Creator’s gift of food, and put it to good use. We can use traditional meals to teach our children their heritage, and cultivate gratitude for past generations. Here are some ideas:

  • Find a significant historical figure, and bake a cake on his or her birthday.
  • Have breakfast food or appetizers on Sundays to make it special.
  • On family birthdays, cook your husband or child’s favorite meal.
  • Celebrate important days of church history with a particular dish.
  • Learn a recipe from your country of origin.

The family needs to eat every single day, and you’re going to be cooking dinner anyway. Take the opportunity to pass on your heritage and faith through some good, old-fashioned home cookin’!

Helicopter Mom Episode 32: Florian Geyer, As Above So Below

 

Helicopter Mom is a Christian and Traditionalist podcast.

Your hosts are Julia and Kelly, and our honored guest this week is Florian Geyer. In this episode, we discuss the importance of putting our faith first, tobacco, photography, kombucha, and more. The reoccurring theme of this episode is reflected in the title.

We will be doing a bonus episode soon specifically to catch up on listener mail, but will be releasing every other week other than this.

Recipe of the week

Sites to check out:
HM Blog: helicoptermomcast.wordpress.com/
Identity Dixie: identitydixie.com/

Helicopter Mom Episode 31: Climbing Mountains

 

Helicopter Mom is a Christian and Traditionalist podcast.

This week Mr. and Mrs. Hale join Julia for this very comfy episode. We talk parenting, homeschooling, Orthodoxy, guns, and etsy.

Please know, dear listeners, that we appreciate you. We’d love to read your feedback. Email us at Helicoptermompodcast@gmail.com. Keep in mind, I only check the email once a week. For faster response time or longer conversations, please message via twitter either @HelicopterMom14 or @JuliaEvola

Sites to check out:
HM Blog: helicoptermomcast.wordpress.com/
Identity Dixie: identitydixie.com/

Helicopter Mom Episode 30: Sin No More

 

 

Helicopter Mom is a Christian and Traditionalist podcast.

Please know, dear listeners, that we appreciate you. We’d love to read your feedback. Email us at Helicoptermompodcast@gmail.com. Keep in mind, I only check the email once a week. For faster response time or longer conversations, please message via twitter @HelicopterMom14

Sites to check out:
HM Blog: helicoptermomcast.wordpress.com/
Identity Dixie: identitydixie.com/

Helicopter Mom Episode 27: Borzoi

 

 

Welcome to Helicopter Mom. Your hosts this week are Julia, Rachel, Evelyn, and Kelly. Our guest this week is the Borzoi, Fatherland intern and podcaster. In this episode, we discuss Borzoi’s many podcasts, poz in the media, public schools vs homeschooling, the modern dating scene, Borzoi’s “red pill” story, and more.

Our segments this week were Volkmom’s (lovely) Homesteading Segment, the Recipe of the Week, by Julia, and Based Bible, by Rachel.

Please know, dear listeners, that we appreciate you. We’d love your feedback. Email us at Helicoptermompodcast@gmail.com

Recipe of the Week: www.marthastewart.com/341776/lentil-soup

Sites to check out:
HM Blog: helicoptermomcast.wordpress.com/
Identity Dixie: identitydixie.com/

KulturKampf on Dante’s Inferno

Poz Button episode on Drive

Helicopter Mom Episode 24: Scott Mallett, Counter Revolution

 

Welcome to Helicopter Mom, a Christian, right wing, and Traditionalist podcast. Your hosts this week are Julia, Rachel, and Evelyn. Our guest this week is Scott Mallett. In this episode, we discuss Counter Revolution.

Our segments this week were the Recipe of the Week segment and a brand new segment: Lost Lessons of Ladyhood, by Kelly U. Gah. Kelly did an excellent job. Thank you, Kelly!!!

You can learn more about this on twitter at #CRx or on their blog: thespiritualsun.wordpress.com/

Recipe of the Week

Sites to check out:
HM Blog: helicoptermomcast.wordpress.com/
Identity Dixie: identitydixie.com/

Helicopter Mom Episode 23: Musonius Rufus

 

 

Welcome to Helicopter Mom, a Christian, right wing, and Traditionalist podcast. Your hosts this week are Julia, Rachel, and Evelyn. We have a very special guest this week: Musonius Rufus of Rebel Yell.

In this episode we discuss traditional courtship, chivalry, and more. The script for our recipe of the week segment was submitted by Jan Bar. A big thanks to him for that.

Recipe of the Week: Kolacki

And be sure to listen to this while baking

Sites to check out:
HM Blog: helicoptermomcast.wordpress.com/
Identity Dixie: identitydixie.com/

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The Hospital Bug-out Bag

What to actually pack in your Hospital Baby Bug-out Bag from a Mom with 3 kids all under 3, plus lots of other tips!

With the first baby, you could spend countless hours reading different mommy blogs or pregnancy magazine’s “maternity bag essentials”… well, considering I’ve done this a few times, consecutively… I’ve got to say, these women are packing WAY too much useless stuff!

Imagine one small duffel bag or carry on size piece of luggage, for YOU and BABY.  Everything you actually need will fit in this 1 bag.  If it doesn’t fit, you’re packing too much.  It’s a good rule of thumb to have this bag packed and on “stand by” around week 35.

Now, a few disclaimers, I’m a C Section mom- it wasn’t the plan when I had my first baby, but circumstances led me down that path, and every baby since has been a “scheduled birth”.  Does this effect what I’m packing…? Eh, no.  But, something to consider is that no matter HOW the baby is born there are essential items you’ll want to have with you as well as essentials your Hospital* will provide.

*Every Hospital carries different products, and as a Mom To Be you should be touring said hospital prior to delivery (around the 35 week mark is a good time), ask the nurses questions, view the birthing rooms, learn where to best park at 3am, what toiletries they offer, brand of newborn diapers they carry, what brand of formula do they use…etc etc etc, they will be happy to answer any and all of your questions.  Then make sure to pre-register with the hospital.  Which means you’ll fill out all the paperwork regarding insurance, emergency contacts, basic intake info, primary doctors and who your pediatrician is.  Why do this?  Because trust me when I say, when labor begins, the LAST thing in the world you’ll want to do is fill out paperwork.  By doing this step early, your information will be on file, and instead of sitting in the waiting room trying to remember names and numbers and write it all down through contractions you’ll be able to go directly to the Maternity L&D ward once checked in!

First off, births can go easy AND/OR hard, assume you’ll be in the hospital for a minimum of 1 day, OR your stay could last up to 5 days, depending on your health and most importantly Baby’s health.  That being said, just pack enough for 1-2 days. Husband, family, or friends can always bring you more clothing, if needed.

Okay, to the meat of this topic, “what’s in your Bug Out Bag?”  Where to start?  With Mom!  Now, regardless of HOW your baby comes out of you, you’ll want very loose fitting clothing and you’ve read it before in other mommy blogs but, you will still Look pregnant (roughly 6-7 month size)… don’t worry, that belly swelling will dissipate over time.

Mom will need her purse and wallet.  ID and Insurance cards should already be in your wallet.  Along with cell phone, which will have all your contacts.  Throw in a charger and you’re set.  No need to bring a big camera these days – most cell phones take great pictures and videos.  On to packing:

* 1-2 pairs of pajama like pants, think comfort and avoid drawstrings!
* 1-2 baggy T-shirt’s, low cut necks or v-neck cuts are great for skin to skin contact with baby.
* Socks- get yourself a pair of warm fuzzy socks that are easy to get on.  The only walking you’ll do is to the bathroom and back to bed.
* Slip on shoes – I don’t care who you are or what season Baby is being born in, if you have to bend over to put on shoes you’ll hate your life.  It’s okay to be “socks and sandals” gal for the 1 day you shuffle out of the hospital into your car to go home.
* A zip up hoodie, or flannel, or light button up sweater.  You’ll grow tired of the hospital gowns right away, and while you’re attempting to breast feed Baby, you’ll want a comfortable top cover piece you can easily open and close – keep in mind, hospital rooms are a revolving door of nurses, doctors, and especially family and friends.
* Your hair:  I prefer wearing my long hair up while in the hospital, so pack accordingly for your style, an extra hair tie or two, maybe a few bobby pins, or even a bandana to keep your bangs out of your eyes.
* Why you Don’t need to pack underwear: Some women L.O.V.E. their maternity/ nursing bras, I personally find them extremely cumbersome, especially those first few days lying in a hospital room. But, if you want it – sure, pack it.  Underwear….so, hopefully I’m not the first one to break this news to you but, ahem… you’ll be experiencing the heaviest period of your life that first Post-Partum week.  Totally normal.  That being said, your hospital will (most likely) provide you with mesh undies and all the pads you could ever dream of.  Use these supplies, don’t bother bringing pads to the hospital.  You should buy some “heavy” trifold thick pads and very thin “light” ones, prior to baby’s arrival, but leave them in the bathroom at home. The mesh undies the hospital will supply are very loose fitting, and disposable, and you won’t care if they get stained, so leave your regular undies at home.

And that covers what you’ll be wearing.
On to toiletries:

* toothbrush and toothpaste, floss.  It’s been my experience that the hospital carries mouthwash if you need it.
* Hair brush.  Think small travel size.
* Shampoo/conditioner.  Small travel sizes of some nice stuff you like will be a treat during that first shower you take at the hospital.  Now, the hospital will likely carry these items but, it’s kinda like low-grade hotel quality… so pack yourself some nice conditioner.
* Face wash.  You’ll likely be covered in sweat, maybe have runny mascara raccoon eyes, maybe you even threw-up pushing that baby out… so, do yourself a favor and pack your favorite face wash (and makeup remover if you’re the kind of lady who wears lots of eye makeup).
* Face moisturizer.  Skip all other primers and creams, think minimalistic.
* Body lotion…?  I don’t think it’s necessary, however, if you suffer from dry hands, sure pack a travel size of lotion*.  A word of advice: you just had a baby, and babies rely on smell to root around for your boobies and are learning what mommy smells like – so, PLEASE avoid scents/fragrance!
* Which is also why: Deodorants are NOT necessary.  You’ll be laying in a bed, don’t worry about sweating, the laboring part is over.
* Razor blade… what?!  No.  You seriously think you’ll be able to bend over and shave your legs?  Lol… no but seriously, bringing a razor is useless.  If you were smart, in the build up to the “due date” you were regularly shaving your legs to keep that quick growing ankle stubble at bay.
* A towel.  Again no, don’t waste space packing a towel from home.  The hospital has plenty of towels, and remember my comments about the worst period you’ll ever have… yeah, just stick to the hospital towels so you can throw them on the floor and never think about them again.
* Make up:  You’ll likely be uninterested in applying makeup after Baby arrives.  But, like myself, I carry in my purse with me a small makeup bag of essentials:  base powder, blush, mascara, chap stick.  You may find you like having a little makeup on for when people come to visit, and the countless photos they will take.  Things to avoid: eye liner, bronzer, and lipstick (you’ll be kissing a baby head a-lot!).
* Hair dryer?  Straightener?  Curling iron?  No and no and no!  I mean, if you have to bring a hair dryer… but it’s a waste of space, just plan your hair styles around them being towel dried.  Think braids and buns and low effort!
* Earplugs and eyemask.  Lol!  NO!  Honey, you just had a baby, Welcome to your life without deep sleep 101.  Your hospital room isn’t going to be beeping non stop with machines and if alarms are going off it’s because your automatic blood pressure cuff is picking up something dangerous.  There will almost always be 1 light on, as the 2am night shift nurses will need to check your vitals and Baby’s every few hours.  It’s also been my experience that the night shift nurses will run the hearing tests, blood tests, etc, on Baby in the middle of the night, so they will be in and out of your room often.  You’ll find that you may fall asleep, but you’ll also want to be keenly aware of every noise Baby makes – this will continue and even heighten once Baby is home.
* Baby nail clippers.  Babies are born with claws, razor sharp tiny little claws.  It’s okay to cut Baby’s finger nails to avoid them scratching themselves.  Just be careful, have good lighting, and make one straight cut across the top. Nail files are also good for this.

It’s handy to keep these items in gallon size zip locks or a travel size toiletries bag, for easy viewing and access. The zip lock is handy just incase anything leaks you’ll notice right away!

On to the fun stuff:  Packing for Baby!

You likely know the sex of your baby and have been looking at their little clothing for months now, dreaming of the first outfit they’ll wear.  Even if you don’t learn the gender, you’ll probably still have invested in newborn outfits, blankets, etc.  But, this is what you really need for Baby’s time in the hospital:

* Hat.  Every hospital will have the generic pink and blue striped hat. If you want something special, bring it.  But keep in mind warmth over fashion and leave the girly headbands at home.
* Swaddling wraps.  The hospital will carry these.  Again, if you really want Baby to wear a special one, bring it, but you won’t need several, maybe 1 or 2 at the most.
* Clothing:  Avoid bringing onesies with the snap up crotch. Baby has an umbilical cord clamp on, think loose fitting clothing for Baby too!  Lots of newborn outfits offer pants with footies (so you can skip needing to bring socks) and snap up kimono style tops with long sleeves – this is a perfect outfit, as there is little rubbing Baby’s delicate bellybutton area.  But, realistically, the majority of their hospital stay, Baby will be wearing a snap-button up top with long sleeves that fold over the hands, which also eliminates needing to bring mittens (this top is likely provided by the hospital) along with diapers and a swaddle.  One other good clothing item is a zip-up full-body onesie for going home in.  Again, you want the kind that covers the feet, so you don’t have to worry about socks. Cotton or Fleece is nice and warm, just avoid ones with big pompoms or frills on the butt.  Baby just wants to be warm and comfortable for the ride home.  *An important note about Baby in the hospital:  It has been my experience that hospitals are VERY diligent about tagging your baby right away – either the wrist or ankle of Baby will have a hospital bracelet with Mom’s name, numbers associated with your hospital account, as well as an “anti-theft” alarm!  Yes, a small device that sets off alarms when Baby gets too near the Exit doors of the Maternity Ward.  I mention this because, depending on what clothing you pack for Baby, certain tops or socks if too tight could get in the way of these tags.
* Baby Blanket.  Think small and fluffy and warm. Avoid quilts or anything big and too heavy.  If it can double as a swaddle that’s about the right size.
* Security Blanket.  These are perfect for when baby is in the car seat.  They are a small blanket that can be tucked in over their lap.
* Number 1 essential:  car seat and base.  Make sure the base is already installed in the car before labor begins, again, around week 35 is a good time to be prepared.  Odds are your husband will have a much easier time installing the base properly, as you’ll be hella pregnant and bending over in the car will be extremely uncomfortable.  If he doesn’t know how to install the seat, or if this is Baby #1, then go to a Fire Station or Police Station, as first responders often offer classes on properly installing car seats.

Other NON-essential items for Baby you DON’T need to bring to the hospital.  I included these because there are practical reason why you don’t or won’t want these things with you.

* Leave the car seat in the car until Baby and Mom are ready to come home.  You won’t need it when walking into the hospital in labor, and it doesn’t need to take up space in the recovery room either.
* You don’t need a stroller.  Baby is going to weigh around 8 lbs and husband can easily carry Baby out of the hospital in the carrier.
* The detailed full page Birth Plan.  Odds are the OB whom you’ve been seeing for the last 280 days (40 weeks) will be your delivery doctor.  They should already know your family history, as well as your ideal laboring situation:  natural birth, epidural choice, etc.  It’s nice to have that “perfect scenario” in your head, but please enter the hospital with an open mind.  Those nurses and doctors want you to deliver a healthy baby – and that should be more important then worrying about an epidural or a c-section if laboring takes longer then expected or if Baby becomes distressed.  Would we all love to have an ideal situation?  Sure.  But, don’t walk into the hospital with a highlighted page of Do’s and Don’ts, it’s simply not practical to be worrying about that, when your focus should be on breathing through contraction and focusing on Baby.  Now, maybe you have reservations about the Vitamin K shot or you don’t want your son circumcised, these are valid points to explain clearly to your OB so they know your wishes.  While at the hospital there is usually a head nurse in charge of your care, discuss these things with them prior to Bbaby’s arrival.
* The Keepsake Baby Book.  Leave this at home. You won’t have the time or space to scrapbook while in the hospital.
* Breast feeding pillow, or ANY pillows for that matter are a huge waste of space.  Don’t bring these items.  The hospital will provide you with several pillows.
* Yoga ball…?  Please leave this at home.  Odd are the hospital has the peanut shaped yoga ball for laboring already.  Are you really going to make your husband walk through a hospital carrying a yoga ball?
* Breast pump.  Leave it at home.  A woman’s milk doesn’t “come in” the day she gives birth…there are some exceptions, if you’re currently feeding another child, but in that case, again why would you need the pump?  Colostrum will likely be the first fluid you notice, and will leak from the breasts in small amounts.  Very nutritious for baby and a good starting point on a breast feeding journey.  Leave the machinery at home.   *If you’re very confused how to use your pump in the days after being discharge, then bring the pump with you to a Breastfeeding/Lactation Consultant for advice.
* Nipple cream… you’ll want that, but not on day 1, leave it at home.
* Stuffed animals…?  No.  Seriously?  A total waste of space in those first few days.  Besides, odds are family of friends will show up to see Baby and bring you things like flowers, balloons, or stuffed animals.  If you assume this will happen, ask these people nicely to deliver these items to your home!  It will only make checking out of the hospital more awkward if you have 3 vases of flowers and a giant balloon of a stork.
* Robe and flip flops can be left at home.  I suggest packing a sweater over a robe, because the robe is long and will be uncomfortable while lying in the hospital bed trying to prop yourself up.  And no flip flops – if the hospital shower is so dirty you won’t walk on the tile floor, maybe you should pick a different hospital.
* Water bottle.  No.  Leave it at home.  The hospital will likely provide you with a “Big Gulp” size water bottle and the nurses will expect you to be drinking that ice-water down and refilling it every time they check in on you.
* Snacks.  I see this suggestion a lot, but the reality is the hospital will provide you with breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Plus, lots of Saltines, hot broth, and sandwiches at 2am if you want a late night snack.  Leave the “healthy snacks” at home for when you’re up at 4am with hungry crying Baby, you’ll be more glad you have them then!  If husband is hungry, they’ll have a cafeteria or better yet, find out the hospital’s take-out food policy… maybe husband can bring some fried rice and chow mein into the room for you both.
* Laptop and movies or books, music player and headphones.  So, you think you’ll have enough free time to watch a movie, seriously? No.  Once baby arrives, you’ll be perfectly content to sit in a quiet room just holding Baby.  As for books, you’re a mom now, unless it begins with “Once upon a time” get used to not reading for a few years.
* Sleeping sacks and pacifiers… the sleeping sacks are nice for parents who struggle with swaddling, as they are literally baby shaped sacks with Velcro, but leave them at home and take this time to practice with the nurses on how to swaddle properly.  Pacifiers – this is a more “controversial” topic as some breast feeding experts will advise against it, as the rubber nipple can lead to nipple confusion in those first days of Baby learning how to breast feed.  Same can be said for bottle feeding formula in those crucial first days for Baby.  In general, have a lactation consultant lined up for after Baby’s birth, most hospitals offer this service for free, and offer weekly support groups to discuss these matters.
* The diaper bag.  You don’t need this.  And why would you?  The hospital will provide you with plenty of free diapers, and you’ll be taking home both diapers and wipes.  You’re not going to be pulling over half way home to change Baby’s diaper anyways… so leave the diaper bag at home, and just relax as Husband drives you and the new addition home.

Two other things you may want:
1:  An empty bag, something like a reusable shopping bag in size.  The hospital will likely give you plenty of freebies… from diapers to pads, formula, and paperwork – both about your baby, like the pictures of their feet and newborn card saying time of birth, as well as generic stuff about caring for an infant, which may include books and/or dvds.
2:  Sweet treats for the nursing staff.   I learned this from a friend who is a nurse!  The nurses really appreciate getting some kind of snack or candy.  In the past, for my daughter’s and son’s birth I brought them a giant bag of mixed hard candies and chocolates… and trust me when I say, they notice the nice gesture!

Thus concludes what I believe to be the true Hospital Bag packing essentials for Mom and Baby.  Congratulations on your upcoming Birth-ing day!  xoxo

– The NaCl Wife

Helicopter Mom Episode 40: Helicopter Mom’s First Anniversary

Helicopter Mom is a Christian and Traditionalist podcast. Your hosts this week are Julia, Rachel, and Kelly. In this, our 40th episode and one year anniversary, we answer listener mail before getting into some pretty comfy topics.

RSS: http://feeds.soundcloud.com/users/soundcloud:users:283266888/sounds.rss

The Front Porch, where the call in show will be held: https://discord.gg/GRep3q4

Like the artwork we’re using for the show? Our new picture was created for us by Lumen et Sal. Follow him on twitter: https://twitter.com/lumen_sal

Helicopter Mom twitter: https://twitter.com/HelicopterMom14

Kombucha Starter Kit: https://www.northernbrewer.com/everbru-kombucha

Kombucha: A Step by Step Guide: https://helicoptermomcast.wordpress.com/2018/01/22/kombucha-a-step-by-step-guide/

The Path Forward: https://helicoptermomcast.wordpress.com/2017/06/06/the-path-forward/